I'm not ever someone to say I'm perfect. And I never want to say or act like I am. I have many flaws but in all of it I know Jesus still loves me, and I'm forever grateful.
There's some things I do really well in life and some other ones i screw up and fall short on really really badly, but I think the thing i've learned the most is that our failures don't have to be the end all be all but the point where we learn and grow so that we can be better.
Recently I've failed badly. I hurt someone that I never wanted to hurt. I lost someone I didn't want to ever lose. And the pain I feel inside is more than anything I've ever felt emotionally, to the point that it is turning into a physical ache. And actually like being physically sick. And the majority of the time when i do things like this i am the hardest person on myself and judge myself the worst, because i think i expect myself to be perfect.
But I’m not.
I’m not perfect and i have to constantly remind myself of that.
Jesus was and is perfect, and I’m certainly not Jesus.
But what i am is someone who loves Jesus and thankfully through that i am forgiven. And i know this because of scripture. And honestly i know this more so by hearing the Lord speak to me and talk to me daily.
Honestly some days i wonder how God isn’t like, “dude i shouldn’t have created this guy.” But he did because he loves, and he doesn’t ever say that because he loves. I’m so thankful for this.
I know i have to deal with my mistakes and stupid things that i do but i also know that Jesus covers me in grace along with the justice he shows. That grace is so important because without it we all fall short of God, but Jesus fills that gap for us.
To the person i hurt. I’m sorry. More than sorry. I really screwed up and it wasn’t because i don’t care or I don’t love you, it’s just I’m dumb and human and a guy. Maybe those aren’t good reasons but it’s what i have.
And i ask for your forgiveness and for a chance to prove to you that my actions aren’t a reflection of me. I’m asking for another chance. Begging.
A lot of people may not understand this but it’s all I’ve got. I wear my heart on my sleeve and do stupid stuff because of it, but when you care about people you’ve gotta get the message to them. I’m asking for grace and forgiveness and another chance.
And i’ll Always fail. Every day. No doubt about it. But i promise to always fail forward and to be better because of my failures. Just let me show it.
I’m thankful for Jesus. I’m thankful for his grace. I pray for more wisdom and better decision making sometimes....a lot of times. But I’m thankful for what he does and the whispers he shares with me and guiding me through this crazy adventure of life. If you don’t know his grace and love then i dare you to check it out. It’s crazy awesome and so amazing. It’s the best thing you could ever do.
And for the person this is for. I’m sorry. This is for the world to see and I’m sorry. Please let me show you. I’ll even sing a song or do a dance. Or both haha.
