Is saying you're scared of something acceptable still? I know people try to act all big and tough and all, and try not to admit that something is scaring them, but honestly.........there is something that scares me A LOT. And that would be the future.....
I know that everyone has to grow up and move on and all that great stuff, but honestly it scares me to death. Moving on from my comfortable life and eventually leaving school to start a life in the real world is terribly frightening to me. I've always talked about how much I hate school and can't wait to be out of it, but really I feel comfortable in school because I know while there I don't have to make any big decision's or do anything to drastically change my life.
I really just wish I could happily be a bum and sleep on the beach sometimes haha. I mean how awesome would that be. No worries in the world, wake up and be at the beach already. You'd be tan as all get out and looking good all the time, and you'd see the most amazing sunrises on a daily basis. But let's be honest, that would never work or be a fitting lifestyle for someone who is looking to have a family and all.
I know what some people are saying, "You need to just grow up and deal with it. This happens to everyone and everything turns out fine." And you know what....you're exactly right, I do need to get over it and just accept the fact that if I want to have a successful life and have a family, that I need to just deal with growing up. But you can't say that you've never been scared, or afraid to do something even though you knew you had to; everyone has been through it. The best example is probably Jesus......actually not even probably, the best example IS Jesus.
When Jesus was getting ready to be arrested and crucified he wasn't exactly jumping for joy. In Luke 22:42 Jesus even asked God that if He would, to please take the task of being crucified away from him, but that he didn't want his own will done, but God's will done, and if that was for him to be crucified then it was ok.
Now in no way am I comparing myself to Jesus, but it is awesome to know that he went through troubles and had feelings about things the way that we do. I mean that is the reason Jesus was on earth right? To die for our sins and to fully understand what we go through every day?? It's so awesome to know that my Savior and God cares that much about me, to just come here to die for me, and to come to fully know what I go through on a daily basis. So amazing.
This blog really turned out differently than I intended it to haha, but it's all good. I guess I just need to be more like Jesus and use that scripture as an example for my life and just let whatever happens next in my life happen, and know that I just have to trust God because His will is perfect and He will take care of me, and provide for me.
I'm so lucky to have God taking care of me, there's no better feeling of safety in my past, present, and the thing I'm most scared of......the future.
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