Weathered

Sometimes in my life I feel so worn down and unable to do anything right. I feel like no matter what I do it's just wrong. It's like I'm worn and weathered from being beaten down by the world or something; maybe just by getting frustrated at anything and everything in my life. It's those times when I feel the most distant from God, feeling like I just can't please Him because I am beating myself down and feeling disappointed in myself more than anything.

When I start feeling that way I always try to remember that nothing I do makes God mad at me or love me less, no matter what I do or how much sin I commit. Which is honestly a tough concept to grasp, because there's not a person on the face of the earth that does that, so we are used to people being disappointed in us  or mad at us for things that we may do wrong. But that is what is so amazing about God is that no matter what we do, He loves us more than we could imagine, and even though we don't deserve that love, He is always and forever faithful.

I feel like the times when I get this weathered feeling is when I start to drift some from the Lord and from what I am supposed to be doing in continuing to pursue Him with all I have, or when things just aren't going how I want them to.

When Christmas break started this year and I went home I started to get off from doing my quiet time and spending my time with the Lord, and then it continued once school got back into the swing of things. I would do it occasionally but it wasn't consistent the way it needed to be, and I just found myself getting frustrated with things and people so easily......especially if it wasn't going the way that I thought that it should, or if someone wasn't doing something the way I thought it needed to; then I began to get that weathered feeling because I was so worn down and tired from it. It sucks. I'm honestly still going through it to some extent now. I feel like right now I can't always be who I am because I feel like there are people who want and expect me to be something different and if I act the way the I am then they think less of me......but that's a story for a different time.

There are two things that I try to keep on the for front of my mind in these times.....and always try to keep them on my mind really, but they are

1) It's not about me. Ever. And never will be. It's about glorifying God with every single breath that I have, and making it about me or what I think everything should be is taking that glory from God.

2) God is always faithful and nothing I do could ever make Him love me less, and that because of this I should not get disappointed in myself, yet be convicted of what I have done and work to improve it to then in turn glorify God in the situation.
-"If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself." -2 Timothy 2:13

--Faithfulness-True to one's word, promises vows, etc. Steady in allegiance of affection; loyal; constant; faithful friends. reliable, trusted, or beloved. Adhering or true to fact; a standard, or an original; accurate.

---Those definitions show that God is true to His word. He is steady in allegiance and loyal to us. He is reliable, and trustworthy. He is true to fact, He set the standard, He is the original, and He is accurate in what He says.

How awesome is that!!!!!! No matter what we do God loves us that much and is that faithful to us. That sets me on fire just thinking about it.

In the weathered times in our lives, when it seems like the rain won't stop falling down and the wind won't stop blowing, we must remember that God is our solid rock and that He loves us despite the sin we release in the storm, and the frustration we have.God is faithful forever, no matter what. What an amazing God we have.

I hope this wasn't too all over the place. It's been a while since I wrote a blog, and I just decided I would do it again. I feel like it was pretty random and all over the place, but hopefully someone relates or gets something out of this.

I'm praying for all of you, and I hope that you have an awesome day!